I remember listening to patients in the smoking room. There used to be an apparent view that if staff were smoking with you they were not really working or listening at the time.
Clients also seem to forget that staff speak to one another but that is another issue.
There was a widely held opinion that nurses:
- Had never suffered from any mental health problems.
- Therefore could not help them; the patient
This of course is blithering stupidity.
Generally a significant number of staff, on any unit I have worked at, suffer from some mental health problem. Commonly depression, at times alcoholism, delusional beliefs that don’t affect day to day life and of course just plain mad.
I have met as nurses to heavy medication for manic depression and lived down the corridor from a Senior Staff Nurse to hallucinated, loudly, very loudly.
Rates seem to run from 25 to 50%. Remember nursing, any branch, is a stressful job. People burn out and get stressed. Listening to grown adults whine that they are ‘not understood’ by the staff is plain aggravating.
Please remember that nurses are people too. We don’t talk to clients about our problems because most of us are not entirely stupid.
That’s point one.
Point two: we can’t help you if we have not been through the same thing as you.
I can see the point for some people. If I had suffered a horrific life of abuse I would probably give more credence to the advice of someone that had rebuilt her life having suffered similarly. There is often specialist charities and counseling available.
For the just plain mad though ? Doesn’t work. Depressed people can not help depressed people often. The following is a conversation not far removed from reality.
Client: I am very depressed. No one can help me.
Staff: I have suffered from depression I can help you.
Client: I am on meds. A lot of meds.
Staff: Me too.
Client: I am suicidal, I hate myself.
Staff: I felt the same. I rebuilt my life with the help of meds and my friends.
Client: The meds don’t work, I have no friends.
Staff: Who came to visit you earlier ?
Client: My friends.
Staff: There you go then.
Client They hate me too.
…
You get the hint. It can go on forever. It is never the same, or applicable to their situation.
What does give us the authority to dispense advice, at times, is a desire to help. We have often dealt with scores, more very often, of people in broadly similar circumstances. We ask them what has helped them. We try to apply that to others. We have training and a certain amount of needed detachment.
We don’t always get it right. But life is very complicated. Often life makes people ill.
It is all well and good building up a person’s self esteem. Helping her to see herself as someone worthwhile and important. It is lovely. What is sickening when the first decision they make with their new found confidence is to discharge themselves back home to their abusive partner that will destroy any self esteem.
Enough ranting… must go my partner has returned home.
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