I managed to get myself into a fight on my Livejournal last night, which started with my saying I didn’t like wearing my sleeves up (obvious reasons) and ended with abuse being thrown at me, variously calling me a slut and a prostitute and saying I wasn’t bipolar- you can look for yourself if you’re interested.
Go read it. Go read it now.
Been there ? Jolly good.
This post is not about SecretLife’s scrap, just inspired by it and then gone off on a tangent.
I am sure this kind of thing has been covered on Mental Nurse before, a long time ago; a shiny farthing to anyone that finds it 1.
[Found it We’re All Mad I Tell You. Mad !]
We quite often hear that people with mental health problems can best be helped by those that have also had problems.
Client: Why should I listen to you? You have never been schizophrenic / bipolar / abused / anorexic.
We will ignore the stupidity of that. It has often been mentioned on the site that many mental health nurses become so because of these very reasons.
There are a few less obvious undercurrents to the above kind of statement:
- That there is some kind of magic insight gained by being mentally ill. That this magic can be used to aid others.
- That there is a wonderful loving community of service users all willing to help one another because of their shared experiences.
Point 1: I am tempting to just dismiss with some kind of Mo zenlike witticism. Sadly though I am not Mo.
Weak on a few fronts. One things drummed into us as nurses, at the insistence of mental health organisations etc, is that each persons experience of mental health problems is very individual. Given 50 people with a diagnosis of manic depression the only common experience they are likely to share between all of them is being told by some medical type person that they have manic depression. Lifestyles, personality, environment all of these things will make the effects different for each.
There are support groups and organisations where groups of people can get together, share common experiences and help one another. These by all accounts are excellent.
But. If I develop a nasty case of classic Paranoid Schizophrenia in later life I do not think another Paranoid Schizophrenic is likely to be able to help me simply by virtue of diagnosis. I would much rather be assisted by someone who had a broad range of experience working with lots of different people in my situation. Was able to bring this experience to bear on myself and tailor it just for me.
If they were to say:
I am a paranoid schizophrenic. Some of my advice helped me but your mileage may vary
That would just be an added bonus.
Point 2: Another statement that needs Mo.
I was told by … someone. years ago, that there was some research about attitudes to mental illness. This research stated that one of the groups with the worst attitudes about others with mental health problems were people with mental health problems themselves. I have yet to actually find a reference. I thought I had posted the following conversations before but I do not seem to be able to find it:
Setting: Three anorexic patient leaning up against the radiator. Chatting away.
Three Patients: chatter chatter chatter
*Another anorexic patient walks past*
Three Patients: *give evil eye*
One Of Them: Fat cow !
Patients, being individuals, are just like everyone else. All nurses do not like one another, all doctors do no like one another (apart from Dr Crippen who is loved by all and is filled with love) and some patients, irrespective of patientness, are just downright unpleasant people.
In my time I have had to deal with clients telling other clients they should ‘go away’ and take an overdose, getting into fights over relationships, coming into hospital so they could have an affair (from their own lips), slag one another off in the lounge, wind others up to watch them get IM’ed and more.
Sadly, as most of us know, just because someone shares a diagnosis does not mean they will be any more positively disposed to another with the same diagnosis.
Do not get me started on their families …
Must go and do washing up.
1 Would just like to point out I have no farthing. Shiny or otherwise.
Tags: mental health, rant, service users
4 comments
July 14, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Bexler_B
I totally agree with this! From my experiences in a therapeutic community, there’s absolutely nothing therapeutic about sticking you with 15 other people who you have nothing in common with except the diagnosis as a ‘borderline’. There’s a quote from Ally McBeal (who I DO base my life on haha!) where she’s asked why her problems are more important than everybody else’s, and she says - “because they’re mine”. Point made! The majority of people with mental illnesses are concerned primarily with their own issues, so the idea of trying to get them to help others in the same position is beyond me! It DOES just end up in an argument about who’s the worse off.
Can ya tell I’m not a fan of group therapy?!
July 15, 2007 at 1:25 pm
nephron
Wouldn’t it be lovely if all people with mental illness were motivated and capable of taking care of all the other people with mental illness? It’d save an awful lot of money for the health care system.
Having been mentally ill (but now being stable) may lend some valuable insight into the experiences of other people with mental illness, but it isn’t the only sort of experience that is valuable, nor is it enough on its own.
The best support for someone with a mental illness is not someone else who is currently actively mentally ill, but rather someone stable with empathy (whether or not they have had personal experience).
I suspect this is why I was cautioned (on admission and discharge from hospital, as well as in those wonderful leaflets they gave me) to avoid forming strong friendships with the people I met at hospital.
July 16, 2007 at 1:02 pm
bipolarmo
I’ll kick off by disagreeing and saying that in my experience on internet forums and blogs… “some bipolars are more equal than others” (Orwell and Mo)
I briefly immersed myself in the online bipolar community when I was first diagnosed and found that about 85% of the online bipolars I met were self diagnosed. They were not on any type of mood stabiliser. Some of them seemed to have Personality Disorders and some were just twats… you can see I’m being very professional and objective here.
As for needing to experience something before being able to help others I immediately imagine the surgeons in a MASH unit covered in multitudes of scars and shrapnel, trying to perform delicate surgery despite missing all four limbs and having metal plates in their heads. Would our most eminent forensic psychologists be Ian Brady and Peter Sutcliffe? Where on earth would we get pathologists? Now for the two points raised by Mental…
Point 1: Unlike some disorders, bipolar disorder is very easy to understand and recognise as we all experience alterations in mood. I vividly remember the first time I saw a manic person, I immediately thought “wow, that’s exactly how it has been described to me”. My own experience of mania and depression has not added anything of great significance to my understanding. As for being more able to care for others, I doubt it, but if anything, there may be a risk of losing some objectivity and becoming over involved? I haven’t worked since being diagnosed and if I return to work it will not be in nursing.
A couple of years before being diagnosed I stopped working as a practitioner and moved into interagency liaison work. I couldn’t tolerate the poor standards of care on the wards and was constantly enraged by the apparent indifference of my colleagues. In retrospect I wonder if this was due to hypomania rather than me being driven by any great ideals and principles. If so then BPD led to a breakdown in my working relationships and thus made me a poorer nurse.
Point 2: First I must confess support groups have never really been my bag. When I stopped smoking, the last thing I wanted to do was sit in a room listen to other folks talking about smoking. Anyway, despite this I was encouraged to attend the local bipolar support group. As Mental says, the only thing I had in common with the other people there was a diagnosis. People talked randomly about anything that took their fancy and nothing seemed particularly relevant to me. There didn’t seem to be any clear structure or objective for the group. Worst of all, there wasn’t even a hypomanic person to brighten up the room and add interest. I didn’t find it beneficial and never went back.
If while in hospital I was given the choice to be cared for by a nurse who had experienced mental illness or a normal dope smoking, multiple-pierced, just back from Glastonbury RMN… well I couldn’t give a toss really. If I had a choice I would just like one who came out of the office occasionally and was nice to me… *melancholy violins start playing*
July 16, 2007 at 2:58 pm
bipolarmo
ooops! I seem to have got so carried away in my wafflings that I mae up my own point 2… shucks… sorry… will address it now..
Point 2: A bad attitude about others with mental health problems? Moi? I ain’t got nothin’ against those mad, crazy, loonies ya hear! No siree, some of them psycho nutters is almost like you and me. I reckon only about half of them dig up their grandmas. Attitude schmattitude.. sheesh!