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I believe that some alcoholics are mentally unwell and they use alcohol to dampen their emotional pain…as some have suggested on this site before:-
“until such time as the pharmaceutical industry come up with a pill that helps like alcohol does, it will continue to be my coping mechanism of choice”.
Lets first make clear what i mean by ‘mentally unwell’…by that i mean a person that does not function normally in society, or a person that has inadequate coping strategies when dealing with either mental or emotional turmoil/torment.
I believe that once a person is an alcoholic, it is inherent in that, that they will at some point behave in a selfish way.
I also believe that there is an element of learned behaviour too. this could be because their parent or a friend was/is an alcoholic, and this has been exposed to them as a way of coping. Or it could be that you have a drink or 10 and you end up feeling emotionally numbed and just think, ‘oh this is better being shitfaced than being sober, cause i forget about stuff this way’ hence it becomes a learned response that the only way to deal with emotional difficulties is to get blotto.
Then once this learned response is well and truly conditioned into the persons psyche, this is where the addiction part comes in.
Psychological addiction to alcohol may occur with regular use of even relatively moderate daily amounts. It may also occur in people who consume alcohol only under certain conditions, such as before and during social occasions. This form of addiction refers to a craving for alcohol’s psychological effects, although not necessarily in amounts that produce serious intoxication. For psychologically addicted drinkers, the lack of alcohol tends to make them anxious and, in some cases, panicky.
Physical addiction to alcohol occurs in consistently heavy drinkers. Since their bodies have adapted to the presence of alcohol, they suffer alcohol Withdrawal if they suddenly stop drinking. Alcohol Withdrawal symptoms range from jumpiness, sleeplessness, sweating, and poor appetite, to tremors (the “shakes”), convulsions, hallucinations, and sometimes death.
So in answer to your question Lou, i think it is a mixture of the person being mentally unstable (in some shape or form), selfish, learned behaviour, addiction either psychological or physical. I also think that some people are perhaps more genetically predisposed to addictions…but that is getting all too scientific for me so i think i might leave that for someone else to pick up on.
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You know, I almost don’t have the energy to reply to this post – maybe that is my alcoholism, causing excessive apathy and general laziness… Oh no, I’ve just remembered, I am actually a fully- functioning member of society, despite being an alcoholic.
I joined AA and stopped drinking nearly 3 years ago because my drinking was making me depressed and I felt that my life was getting out of control. Despite that, I was drinking throughout my (successful) teacher training and it was only when I started teaching that I stopped.
The AA explanation of alcoholism is a good one and, if you would like to read this opinion, which is based on knowledge and experience, follow the link:
http://www.aarecovery.com/alcoholism.html
Sorry to be a bit pissed off, but this is one topic that pushes quite a few buttons for me.
I’d agree with a lot of that AA definition of alcoholism, though I’m a little uncomfortable with some of the excessively medical-model language used – alcoholism is a “disease”, a “cure” is not yet available – it strikes me as a little too reductive in its way of thinking. After all, overcoming alcoholism (and like Elliecat, this is an area I’ve come too close for comfort to) requires the individual to accept their personal responsibility and retake control over their own actions in a way that you don’t need in order to e.g. treat tonsillitis with antibiotics.
Are alcoholics selfish? I guess that depends on your definition of selfish. Alcoholics are defnitely in thrall to their chemical and psychological addiction, which causes them to exclude others around them, including loved ones. Then again, one could arguably say the same about a schizophrenic in thrall to his delusions and command hallucinations, but we wouldn’t call them selfish for it.
I’m probably wildly contradicting myself with the above points. Please don’t confuse me with somebody who has a coherent point to make.
Hi Flowergirl,
Thanks for that. I don’t think I made it clear in my post that I was extremely upset with my co-workers comments. No one in work has a clue that suffer from a mental illness so unfortunately I have to deal with a lot of comments similar to these. I’m not comfortable with “outing” myself at a tea table so I have to deflect the argument using strategies such as muttering about evidence based research and hiding in the loos until I calm down.
For me, I started drinking when I was 12 or 13 years old. Mainly because it gave me confidence and also because I wanted oblivion. I wanted to forget certain events in my childhood which didn’t give me a great grounding in life and basically taught me that life was shit and adults were not to be trusted.
When I was fifteen I added drugs. Again, this was because I was deeply unhappy and unable to cope with a number of problems in my life. My mental problems were starting to gather pace. I became anorexic, bulimic and slept around.
When I finally hit my rock bottom in 2001(in a police cell and a one way ticket to the loony bin), I realised that emotionally, I was still about 17. I got sober through AA. I found the support brilliant but disagreed with the cult-like atmosphere which seemed to label any dissent on being an alcoholic. So I left. I’m still sober.
My behaviour at times was undoubtably selfish. This doesn’t mean that I am a selfish person. It means that I am an ill person who tries to deal with her problems by avoiding them.
On 11 September 2007 I will be 6 years sober. It doesn’t get any easier. In fact, I think it gets harder. Especially when I have to listen to comments from the people I work with every day. The irony is, when I tell them I don’t drink, they think I’m a bore.
Another thought – what about people who are addicted to smoking – are they selfish?
Or caffeine addicts? Baying in the coffee shop for another skinny latte with an extra shot? Selfish fuckers!
Bulimics are particularly selfish. Imagine eating all that food and wasting it.
Addicts are selfish. I would consider that to be one the defining characteristics that they put the focus of their addiction before others. Smokers smoke despite the fact they are more likely to die early and cost the NHS more. Drug addicts do whatever they do, steal, lie, cheat or simply keep a large part of their life secret from others. Alcoholics drink, destroying their relationships with others. These are sweeping generalisations, very sweeping.
But the type of addiction is important. A caffeine addiction is less likely to adversely affect others than an alcohol addiction. But the selfishness has to be seen as an aspect of the addiction. Which is currently defined as an illness.
The addiction does nto arrive full blown in a persons life saying “Hello I am a life altering selfishness inducing addiction, do you want me?”. It sneaks in to a persons life a little at a time. Little lies and justifications build slowly into bigger lies. The addiction cycle kicks in and strengthens itself before you even realise you are on it. Then it is too late to see things as they are and break out and regain the life lost.
Just my two pence worth
Love Lou’s last line btw
lol
Dazed and Confused said: “Addicts are selfish”
I would prefer, “Addicts may often behave selfishly”
Otherwise it does become a sweeping generalising like “All men are bastards” or “All Mental Health Nurses are power crazed prison officers who lock up patients for a laugh.”
Sorry Lou
That was my point exactly. I would define selfishness as one of the defining characteristics of addiction though. At least when it reaches the level of needing some kind of intervention.
I remember seeing some Channel4? prog years ago about middle class heroin addicts. Who all held down respectable jobs and lived ‘normal’ lives but happened to be addicted to Heroin. They got a regular supply used it, go some more without escalating into the classic Trainspotting stereotype. Or is that just my faulty memory ?
mmm… that rings a bell. Was it a documentary about Clouds Clinic in Wiltshire?
Also something I’ve taped but was too chicken to watch – the 2006 documentary called “Rain in My Heart” by Paul Watson. It follows the lives of 4 alcoholics, 2 of whom die during filming.
Girl overdoses on caffeine. Next step, smoking crack and being selfish.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/eng.....944026.stm
Lou, that is very hypocrytical of your colleagues, but common: It’s ok to drink, often binge drinking, until it is seen as a “problem”
People can be very judgemental, even those whose job it is to not be.
Hello Bloo!
Yes, when I sobered up in 2001, I went from having about 50 friends to about um, 5.
Mainly because I wasn’t the number one party girl any more. Never mind that I was screwing up relationships, jobs, my physical and mental health….
Sobering up is like starting all over again. Making new friends (good ones) having a relationship with someone other than the pub landlord. Walking into a crowded room without a comforting slug of gin.
To be honest, Alcohol was my comfort blanket.
Lou
“On 11 September 2007 I will be 6 years sober.”
Is my maths right? Did you hit rock bottom on the same day as the Twin Towers did???
Lou, sounds like you are better off with the “real” friends.
Well done you! (lou!)
Zarathustra
Yes, your maths is right. Those were very strange times for me.
Bloo,
Thank you
I can’t take all the credit though.
I’d just like to point out that since 2001, I’ve been lucky enough to have the support of a brilliant consultant psych (now retired sadly) and two therapists. The first therapist was an OT specialising in eating disorders and the second (my present therapist) is a CBT nurse specialist.
I’ve also been on medication since 2000. At the moment I’m tapering Seroxat (pure hell) and I’m about to start Lamotrigine.
So I’ve been in therapy for about 6 years (on and off). I don’t think anyone can stay sober without some sort of support, whether it’s from family, religious faith, AA or a mental health professional/team.
Or perhaps all of the above.
Ellicat – congrats on your three years sobriety!
Thanks Lou. I kicked the mental health services away after spending 3 months in a therapeutic community where AA was described as an “unhealthy coping mechanism”… I also didn’t really like the fact that the MH services set the police on me when I asked for support once… AA doesn’t judge me the way the local CMHT did.
I’ve been ok with just one meeting a week and no outside support, aside from regular contact with my gp. I work hard as a teacher and try to forget I was once a self-harming active alcoholic.
Elliecat – Good to hear from you.
I think whatever works for the individual. It’s the sobriety that counts, right?
One day at a time!
[...] we’ve touched upon as part of the previous post is the extent to which one can make a moral judgement on people with alcohol [...]