But…
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Hi folks, have enjoyed reading your posts and finally got around to joining in. Lovin’ the dark humour, it reminds me why I wanted to get into this malarky of a business. However, having recently managed to scrape through the course I am now in a situation where I am quite content not to get a job. It’s as though I needed to prove to myself that I was capable of getting through with sanity intact, and now I’m here I’m not sure I actually feel the passion anymore. I’m so disillusioned with meeting so many disillusioned nurses who once had dreams and have had it battered out of them by circumstance, politics and by others who are disillusioned. I was randomly applying for any jobs that came up, and when I got some interviews and was offered a job I freaked out because I realised I didn’t even want the job! What the hell is going on?! Can anyone relate to this or offer any seeds of hope? Please?!
The dreams and ideals we often start with might never be realised. That is not to say it is not worth while giving it a go. Even within the worst work places there is always a chance to help make someone’s life a little better. That is where the magic lies. I have dreams about changing the workplace ethos on my current ward, it is probably a futile task. Have managed to make small changes and have had other attempts shot out of the water by people that do not understand what I try to explain. Does this depress me and make me fed up? Yes. Does it stop me enjoying the one to one work or the group work I do with my client group, No! That is why I turn up to work.
Nurses let themselves become disillusioned, cynical and burned out. They let this happen because they can blame their disillusionment on someone, something else; the system, management, culture, political correctness or whatever.
Take a job. Get in there. Fight the good fight.
We have always needed people with dreams who aren’t satisfied with how things are, or we would never progress. I have often been annoyed, exasperated or fed up, but that’s life. I think that if you look for quick fixes or instant improvements then you will be disillusioned. Go for a little improvement here and there that doesn’t change too much at once and eventually you will get what you want. I look back over my 25 years since qualifying and I can see enormous improvements, made by restless idealists who wanted to do things but never thought they could change anything, so go for it.
As the above comments explain so well, one step at a time, you need to realise even the smallest changes are still changes. It’s quite normal to ‘freak out’ after finishing your training, it can be a little anti-climatic (where was the marching band??) but congratulate yourself on jumping through the hoops. If you want to make changes, they wont happen by sitting on your arse. Go out there and be a positive force.
Sorry for the delay in replying HF.
I went to a social gathering last weekend. Met up with some people who I haven`t seen for some time and who I`m not likely to see them again for an equally long time. In those circumstances it`s amazing what is revealed to the psychiatric nurse. All the ladies at the table work in the public sector and they`re all on anti – depressants. You only have to read Inspector Gadget, Mr. Chalk and Mousethinks and you`ll see exactly why.
There is a general malaise hanging over us all. We have responsibility but very little power. We`re not encouraged to use initiative or discretion. Everything you do is likely to be second guessed and if you don`t record everything you do someone will claim it “didn`t happen”. Risk taking is suppressed. There are a whole host of topics on which you cannot speak your mind. If you came into nursing looking to do more than smile and nod and mindlessly follow policy and procedure then yes, times are tough.
However, you should not give up as you can make a difference. You need to think a bit bigger. I`ve just started in a new unit. I`ve been on nights but I`m just going on to days. The ward has a very tired old patio. Do nothing – Do nothing wrong culture prevails. Staff feel comfortable when it`s locked as they`re scared of AWOL`s. They`re totally forgetting that people need space, it reduces friction. That`s not even nursing, it`s simple physics. I`ll blag £20 out of the ward manager and next weekend I`ll dig over the borders and sink a bag of daffodils with a patient or two. Monday week everyone will be talking about it ( sad but true ). I won`t have trod on anyones toes but others will feel a tacit pressure to pull their fingers out and make some improvements. There are all sorts of things you can do. Frame some patient art and put it on the wall. Establish a clothing bank for the patients who come in with nothing. Blag a double sided whiteboard for sudoku / crosswords……, the options are endless. The patients will appreciate it and positive regard from the patient body is the best insulation material.
Pretty soon I`ll be quite an autonomous practitioner. Largely left alone to get on with what I perceive to be important. And the best tip of all. Whatever you do, do it confidently. If you doubt yourself, the disillusioned you mention will smell the weakness and pick over what you do. Do it with a bit of panache.
Finally, remember that you do it for the patients. Many of your disillusioned colleagues will actually be pretty decent people. You may be pleasantly surprised how many respond positively to your leadership, effort and initiative.
I can understand why you felt ;freaked out;.Sometimes when you desperately hanker after something and you get it unexpectedly the shock complex is experienced.If what you desire and the outcome is negative obviously your self esteem will go down and if the outcome is positive and in your case beeing offered a job it probably has boosted your self esteem so much all at once and so unexpectedly that that you going through the process of denial.Dont be disillusioned by all this.Besides there is no bigger disillusionment anywhere else than in the NHS at the present time.My advice to you is to take the job otherwise you will back to where you started and be really disillusioned!wISH YOU GOOD LUCK!kEEP ME POSTED.