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The theme of this caption competition is…substance misuse.
As we’ve commented before, the the BBC website always uses Check Shirt Bloke for any story about mental health issues, but for this news story about employees turning up drunk or hungover for work, they’ve decided to go with this guy:
So, submit your caption suggestions in the comments thread. The best will go into a poll to decide the winner, and that winner will receive a Mental Nurse mug at the end of the month when I get paid.
“George thinks he needs another whisky if he is ever going to get through the day wearing his mother in laws “gift” of a tie.
Hmm, that’s all I have for now. Shame, since I would like a Mental Mug!
One from me:
“Dr Crippen prepared himself before giving his blog insights on the nursing profession.”
Crippen talking to off-screen interviewer:
….and here we have another example of dumbing down in our profession. There was a time when one would go into a hotel and give and order to a waiter who would then instruct a qualified and experienced bar tender to pour a scotch. Now it seems that any old fool can open a bottle and start sloshing it around. Next thing they’ll be offering mixed drinks in bottles and giving it some ghastly name like Whiskey Wheezers. That’s Nu Labour for you – it seems anyone knows how to pour a drink these days……in my time you were expected to drink seventeen pints before you moved onto the scotch ….
Key Stage Three of Getting Pissed At Work Protocol (Department of Health 2008)
Competence domain: Ability to pour scotch into a glass
Process skills (please tick if achieved): -
- unscrew cap
- tilt glass
- apply neck of bottle to edge of glass
- tip bottle to correct angle to facilitate entry of scotch into glass
Etc…
“The new sexual harassment policy was getting Irwin down. Liquor? He barely even touched her.”
(By the way, am I the only one who thinks the guy in the picture looks like a younger Colonel Sanders?)
A demonstration of the correct use of grain-based ethanol. It’s wasted on your car, folks!
“You’re fired!” Said Sir Alan Sugar…. no wait…
Sense of smell overwhelmed by the remnants of beef curry Pot Noodle in his ‘tache, Dr. C. assumes the darkly coloured bottle left in his in-tray by the chirpy young continence nurse to be a token of gratitude for his oft-dispensed wisdom.
I like experimental chimps and anursingassistants captions the best so far. I just hope Zed doesn’t win and get to buy himself a mug!
” ’s a fabulous job this, posing as a ‘typical alcoholic’ for the BBC. Wonder if they’ll let me keep the white shirt when I go back to my park bench, or if I’ll have to go back to wearing my grubby raincoat tied up with string”.
Dr Jeckyll was very disappointed. Not only did his new potion taste disgusting, but all he had to show after half a bottle of the stuff was a bit of facial hair.
“What you mean drunk at work? I’m a fickin barman. And where’d these fickin files come from? Would you like ice with this, sir?”
“Dodgey tasting apple juice this!”