- Captiontastic
- Caption competition – tha winnar!
- Caption Competition – Nurse Practitioners
- Caption Competition – Robot Nurse
- It’s time…
- Caption Competition Number: eggs
- Caption Comp
- Caption Competition: Mock the BNP
- Caption Competition – The Winner
- Caption Competition: Male nurse action figure
- Caption Competition: Christmas Nurse
- Caption Competition: Zombie Nurses
- Caption Competition – Stripey jumper woman
- Caption Competition: Psychotherapists
- Caption Competition: Mood Swings
- Caption Competition: Nurses for Reform
- Caption Competition – Designer Hospital Gowns
- Caption Competition: Election Debate
- Nursing needs YOU – caption comp.
Dunno about you, but I think this site seems to have got a bit stodgy lately. Lots of heavy discussions, and not enough CAPTION COMPETITIONS!
So, here’s this grim woman from the NMC site. What do you think she’s saying as she holds up her copy of the code of conduct? I’m sure Z could rustle up a prize of some kind (virtual or perhaps even real) for the best entrant
The Code of Conduct as ignored by the NMC management.
“76 fucking quid and all I get is this lousy code of conduct?”
I think this is in fact a still from the forthcoming TV drama series and sequel to the 90s show Diagnosis Murder. The new series is called Nurse Practitioner Investigates
Episode 1: Nurse Practitioner follows a set protocol to work out who’s been pilfering jammy dodgers out of the vending machine, thus making more effective use of resources and freeing up time for Dr Mark Sloane to work out who killed the antiques dealer at the beach house.
“There’s nothing in this that stops me from kicking you in the bollocks when no-one’s looking. Now take your tablets.”
Yes, good call beakie, this site has been well dull of late. I’ve not posted in weeks, because the site has bored me. And for the cleaver ones who will hold me in-pt visits resonsible for my lack of tinterweb postage – think again, managed to hack into the hospitals wi-fi. Their password was ‘password’ for christs sake.
Erm — being pernickity but is that not her NMC registraton card she’s holding? It looks a bit small to be the code. Then again, the last time I actually opened any mail from the NMC as opposed to giving it the fast lane to recycling heaven, was a year or so ago – when they re-worded it did they also put in font size 4??
Let me work on my caption . . . whats the prize?
What’s the prize? At this moment in time, I have absolutely no idea. Let me get back to you guys on that one.
Prize: You get to do next weeks Mentalist round up.
Caption – as the all new degree nursing takes hold, she is holding a cue card on how to interact with clients that states:
“Would you like fries with that?”
“And this is the new antipsychotic suppository. You’re just hallucinating the sharp corners.”
Considering early retirement? Feeling burnt-out and stressed? Wish you’d chosen another career? Fed up with forking out £76 to an unelected body of incompetents? Relax – these are all signs of an easily-curable mental disorder. Free antipsychotic patch with every Code of Conduct!
“….and so, in order to get acclimatised to the frustrations experienced by anyone working in the NHS, what you do is insert this card between your bum-cheeks and grip it as tightly as you can.”
“Yeah, of course I love my job!”
“I am special, I am!
“Hi, I’m on my YTS and after 3 more weekends I’ll be a nurse and can sign up for this. Wicked.”
“Shrink, I am Sister Crunt from the Nurse Defamation Unit of the NMC. Here’s my warrant card. You are under arrest for crimes against the reputation of the nursing profession. Please hand over your Hob Nobs and come with me”
“Special Agent Scully”
“I took Chance when I really wanted Community Chest”
“What inkblot ?”
And now I’ll show Derren Brown who’s the boss
Dr Faustus! I’m Nurse Damienne. I’ll be your assistant down here. Here’s my card.
They asked me to smile for this photo, but you try finding an NHS dentist!
“Sorry, can we just clarify this: am I posing for the ‘before nursing registration’ picure or the ‘after nursing registration’?”
“Nursing is fun! See the expression on this woman’s face? See how much she’s enjoying it!”
“…OK nurse, you’ve clearly demonstrated your mastery of ‘bored indifference’, now in the next phase of your interview we’ll be looking at ‘bureaucratic intransigence’.”
Thank Goodness the mighty unions negotiated for the £38 towards registration.. it compensates foir the crappy pay awards especially now the credit crunch has kicked in
What do you mean the trusts have failed to implement this clause and I’m still waiting for my £38 ????
Hello I’m Dupe, ANP from the CMHT. The CRT are worried about your BPD being exacerbated by the PTSD.Would you like some CBT? We will be discussing your CPA at the MDT. Can I come in and discuss your mood?
What do you mean Nurse? I’m a Doctor!
Trust me I’m a nurse. Now, drop your trousers and I’ll prepare the tubing and lubricant. Ignore the smell, it’s quite harmless.
Are you sure that you’ve followed the correct pathway led protocols for this photo shoot?
You’d have thought I’d have got my own pool cue, not just a card for £76
Infection control squad. Have you got a permit to wear that tie sir?
Good Morning Comrades. I’m from the tick box Stasi. Do you mind if I just have a rummage in the filing cabinets?
“I hear you feel that 76 quid is not value for money. Let me help you with that. Gaze at the white card…gaze at the card…you are feeling sleepy…you think the 76 quid is worth every penny…the NMC are not a bunch of unelected morons who’ve been castigated by their own regulators…NMC does not stand for Numpties and Muppets Council….”
Shall we have a vote now? Or leave it open until tomorrow?
“This shitty little piece of card just cost me 76 quid. So how the fuck about YOU ‘smile a little please’ instead?”
So….. Who won then?
Can you just hurry up and take the photo so I can go home now please? I need to sleep before my next shift and I’ve gotta get up in a minute.
Panic over Jane, I’ve found someone with proper qualifications to come and talk to Mr Foster.
Before I can put you in touch with reality, you’ll have to sign this release form.
I visited this website and got myself one of these beauties
http://www.slideshare.net/15Mb.....des-493294
[...] And for something lighter, Mental Nurse is running a caption competition – make sure you read the comments! And join in! [...]
[...] haven’t announced a winner for the caption competition yet, so let’s use this an opportunity to acquaint readers with the new way that comments can [...]
[...] the winner of the caption competition, with 11 thumbs-up, is Lorna with “And this is the new antipsychotic suppository. You’re just [...]