- Captiontastic
- Caption competition – tha winnar!
- Caption Competition – Nurse Practitioners
- Caption Competition – Robot Nurse
- It’s time…
- Caption Competition Number: eggs
- Caption Comp
- Caption Competition: Mock the BNP
- Caption Competition – The Winner
- Caption Competition: Male nurse action figure
- Caption Competition: Christmas Nurse
- Caption Competition: Zombie Nurses
- Caption Competition – Stripey jumper woman
- Caption Competition: Psychotherapists
- Caption Competition: Mood Swings
- Caption Competition: Nurses for Reform
- Caption Competition – Designer Hospital Gowns
- Caption Competition: Election Debate
- Nursing needs YOU – caption comp.
This week’s caption competition comes to via that bastion of reason, objectivity and non-frothing-at-the-mouth, the Daily Mail. The subject of the competition: robot nurses.
This, according to the Daily Heil, is a robot nurse.
With face and voice recognition technology, a robot should be able to communicate with patients and spot unauthorised visitors.
It is hoped the machines will ease pressure by taking over mundane tasks such as mopping up spills so nurses can spend more time with their patients.
By keeping wards clean, they could also cut infections by superbugs such as MRSA.
As per usual, post your caption suggestions in the comments thread. Judge peoples’ suggestions by clicking on the thumbs-up icon by the side of each comment if you think it is WIN, and not-clicking on the thumbs-up if you think it is FAIL. Winner to be announced on Saturday 18th October.
One from me to start off:
“Halt, intruder! Identify yourself or face extermination! You have 30 seconds to comply!”
“B-b-b-but I’m the new student nurse!”
“Identification not accepted! Restate your identity. You have 15 seconds to comply or be exterminated!”
“Hi, I’m the robot nurse. Sorry about the attitude of my human colleague. She’s a bit grouchy today. How can I help you, young student?”
Cannot compute. All patients kick me over. Cannot compute. All patients kick me over. Cannot compute. All patients kick me over. Cannot compute. All patients kick me over. Cannot compute. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
“Ok guys – very funny – where’s my pool cue?”
“Doctor if I might make a suggestion. Using your sonic screwdriver you could disable the negative neutronomator and thus reverse the polarity”
So it’s a very big Roomba then?
Does it have a cat named Spot?
My caption:
“Ahem, according to Starfleet medical research… Borg implants can cause severe skin irritations. Perhaps you’d like an analgesic cream? ”
“Yes you’re right (moop, neek, beep) I was manufactured by Dyson”
“Dear Ann Summers Customer Relations Dept
I was, of course, delighted at receiving the ‘mystery product’ to assess but regret to inform you that its performance will never match that of the ‘Rampant Rabbit’.
Yours sincerely…………..”
“You want to go on leave?”
*click, whir*
“The computer says no . . .”
The practice of importing foreign nursing staff continues with new staff made in Taiwan and China.
New deadly strains of superbugs spread through hospitals with the introduction of Microsoft Robotic Nurses. Microsoft have been unable to confirm if these bugs are to be fixed in version 3.
Strangely, I appear to be winning my own competition…
Fix!
I’m completely unable to be amusing when I actually want to be, and since my brain appears to have packed up and gone on vacation this month I’m just going to sit this one out and possibly heckle occasionally…
“At last! The problem of the disparity between the facial expressions of UK and US nurses has been solved!”
Wall-e now decided to clean up the NHS
I only have to do 6 months, then I’m off for the nurse consultant firmware upgrade.
Exgerminate! Exgerminate!