Thanks to Marine Snow for pointing out this helpful list of complementary and alternative therapies that you may wish to explore, request and pay large sums of money for.
* Homeopathy: giving patients medicines that contain no medicine whatsoever.
* Herbal medicine: giving patients an unknown dose of an ill-defined drug, of unknown effectiveness and unknown safety.
* Acupuncture: a rather theatrical placebo, with no real therapeutic benefit in most if not all cases.
* Chiropractic: an invention of a 19th century salesmen, based on nonsensical principles, and shown to be no more effective than other manipulative therapies, but less safe.
* Reflexology: plain old foot massage, overlaid with utter nonsense about non-existent connections between your feet and your thyroid gland.
* Nutritional therapy: self-styled ‘nutritionists’ making untrue claims about diet in order to sell you unnecessary supplements.
* Spiritual healing: tea and sympathy, accompanied by arm-waving.
* Reiki: ditto.
* Angelic Reiki. The same but with added “Angels, Ascended Masters and Galactic Healers”. Excellent for advanced fantasists.
* Colonic irrigation: a rectal obsession that fails to rid you of toxins which you didn’t have in the first place.
* Anthroposophical medicine: followers of the mystic barmpot, Rudolf Steiner, for whom nothing whatsoever seems to strain credulity
* Alternative diagnosis: kinesiology, iridology, vega test etc, various forms of fraud, designed to sell you cures that don’t work for problems you haven’t got.
* Any alternative ‘therapist’ who claims to cure AIDS or malaria: agent of culpable homicide.
I wonder if we could come up with any more to add to this list?
One from me:
Hopi ear candling: Attempting to cure disease by sticking a lit candle in your ear, just like the Hopi tribe didn’t.
But then again, anyone who does go through with this nonsense probably has very little between their ears that could be damaged by such stupidity.
I’ve done it.
But I insisted on laying my lap in her head for the duration of the 30 minute candle.
Each side.
Your lap in her head? Or your head in her lap?
Leaves one wondering what caused the soothing, therapeutic effect. :p
err….I got my timeline mixed up.
That came later.
Aromatherapy – a poncy massage using flowery oils that make you smell like you spent the afternoon in an old people’s home.
May as well throw Bach flower remedies into the pot too, consumption of diluted plant juice, resulting in little else than granny breath?
PMSL I have a qualification in that. By qualification I mean certificate for attending a night course and rubbing lots of strangers with oil. Certificate? Fuck me, I should have a medal. No wonder I’m weird about touching people now. It scarred me (scared me) for life. I did learn which are the best oils to burn together if you want to get off your tree on stinky aromas…..
Oooh did anyone mention Crystals? Not crystal meth, I don’t think that’s been recommended, although at least it has some proven mood altering qualities.
It certainly increases motivation.
What about Fung Shei? Rearrange your room in some random way and keep those pesky spirits out. It’s ancient Chinese so it has to be right.
Traditional Chinese medicine: potentially lethal herbal remedies plus rubbishy superstitious crap like tiger bollocks or snake spunk based on an ancient uninformed view of the body based on ignorance not science but imbued with “ancient wisdom” kudos that suckers fall for every time.
One of my more comic moments involved accompanying a woman to her chemotherapy. While this was going on another woman was circling the area offering Reiki to patients undergoing chemo. The woman I was with launched into a wonderful diatribe about how useless it was and that this woman was doing more harm than good and how horrified she was that the hospital was allowing her in. I was trying so hard not to giggle but we did have a good giggle afterwards..
What about doing one on “proper” psych treatments? Bet you don’t have to look far before you’re finding stuff to be ineffective, inconsistent, dodgy side effects, blah blah.
Only difference is at least with a spot of reiki once a week it’s the person’s own choice to have it, rather than having it forcibly impressed upon them by a hardcore He Who Must Be Obeyed in a grotty office. It’s also their own time and money they’re wasting if it doesn’t work – statutory services should be thrilled!
Exercise: slow and inefficient method of achieving an endorphin rush. Often recommended by those who secretly think the mentally ill are a bunch of pasty whiners who need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
St John’s Wort: Antidepressant drug complete with side-effects and toxic interactions. Currently unregulated and sold over the counter in fairly random dosages, primarily to morons who think natural equals safe.
CBT: The stunning revelation that your depression will be lifted if you just think nice thoughts instead of nasty thoughts.
Psychiatry.
One thumbs up just isn’t enough sometimes….
I believe this comment wins at life, the internets and everything, and we can all go home.
Psychotherapy: sitting in a room with a woman in a cardigan for weeks on end at enormous cost to find out you are even more fucked up than you thought at first.
Clozaril : Induces you to sleep 16 hours a day, in fact you only wake up when your pillow is so wet you`re terrified the, pre Obama, CIA are waterboarding you. Postural hypotension means standing up makes you dizzy. Going to the bathroom reminds you you`re constipated. There isn`t enough cereal in the packet to satiate your appetite but that isn`t what`s setting your pulse racing. Switching on the news generates fear about the state of your immune system. That`s on top of worries about seizures. I could go on. There is a reason people turn to bizarre alternatives.
St John`s Wort : Hardly vorsprung durch technik but the Germans seem to rate it.
Exercise : Shouldn`t be dismissed and desperately need by some on this site. An endorphin rush would be a bonus.
Exercise : Shouldn`t be dismissed and desperately need by some on this site. An endorphin rush would be a bonus.
“Ha ha you’re fat, fatty!” You know, I just knew you were gonna weigh in – no pun intended – on this. Yeah, well, they can go on diets if they want. You’re stuck with that personality. Personally, I have a fucking complicated relationship with exercise, which I’m about to whine about at length on my own blog, but everybody’s mileage varies.
Exercise can make people feel better, yes. So can talking to someone who’s professionally indulgent and soothing for an hour, which is what most holistic therapies add up to. Not disputing that. What makes me angry is things like newspaper reports saying exercise is just as effective as antidepressants, without looking at why and how they work. As well as the endorphin rush, at its best, exercise makes you focus on the physical instead of the mental for a while, and it gives you a structured thing to succeed at. At worst, like if you’ve got an eating disorder, the focus on the body and the inevitable talk about weight, and the possibilities for self-punishment and perfectionism, will be a huge fucking disaster and best left alone.
Endorphin rushes are great, but are more efficiently achieved through self-harm or S&M. Not that I think self-harm is the healthiest or the best option, or that kinky sex is for everybody, but people praising the highs of exercise as though they weren’t just manipulating opiate-ish things in their brains make me laugh.
Being blunt doesn`t half provoke some weird responses.
As it happens, Lorna, I lost someone very, very close to me to depression. That person enjoyed their exercise but it had minimal, and certainly insufficient, positive impact on their overall mental state. I am fully aware that it`s no panacea. That said, it`s a bit of a war and the more weapons you have in your armoury the more likely you are to prevail. Despite my most personal experiences I still think exercise is a worthwhile weapon and that anyone who dismisses it out of hand is stupid.
Perhaps more pertinent to this site is the degree to which fat people are able to delude themselves ( most worryingly in regard to their overweight children ). Once you start deluding yourself it`s rather difficult to stop – Beakie being a supreme example. Too many activities become too demanding. Your world closes in. You lose perspective. You wind up OSB.
It`s a shame, really.
Weird is right. I question how and why it works, and why it’s offered up to all and sundry as Just As Good As Antidepressants, and you go off on one at Beakie. Again. And go “ner ner you’re fat” across the internet.
Incidentally, I don’t know anyone who’s fat and hasn’t realised. This whole “we have to point it out repeatedly for their own good” thing is just bullying.
As homophobe, racist and misogynist in chief it would be remiss of me not to demonstrate my bullying credentials. Although there does seem to be legions of highly offended “victims” of one thing or another amongst the populace who have yet to encounter me.
Perhaps Beakie might use the antipathy I generate as a spur to change his life ? I might be more therapeutic than clozaril, St John`s Wort and exercise combined.
When you want to have the conversation that’s actually happening, rather than the conversation with the sock puppet in your head, you just let me know, ‘kay?
But Lorna, clearly you don’t realise that fatties are worse than the global warming and the terrorism all rolled into one? Ask Alan Johnson and the other obesity-hysterics. So the obvious answer is to continually remind fat people just how fat they are, because that Really Helps.
Quite masterful self delusion. I`m an obesity hysteric now
It takes quite a while for active people to fully comprehend the impact obesity has on people. I work with some really obese people and actually they`re my finest colleagues but their lifestyles make me want to weep
I`m really enjoying this but I`ve got no time. I was bag packing all weekend with the youth organisation. Not a prime location but a staggering four figure sum was raised. I struggled to believe how much. Mentioned it to a mate who reckons there is a collective craving going on for traditional, wholesome activity. I`m away with the organisation for a week at the end of this month and ten days at the end of June. I can`t wait.
Forgive me if I`m gloating and whether jbarber believes it or not, it`s true. Life is great for me at the moment. The more I cling to my fundamentals the better it becomes. Solvency and prudence have become admired virtues. It`s amazing how many people want assistance and input from a vegetable guru. I took a 70 year old lady on to a mountainside the other day, she was awestruck.
Whether or not ther`s a sock puppet in my head. Whether you like it or not. You people ned to be listening to OSB. Bear it in mind when I`m not about.
So glad you’re happy OSB, now for the big question:- are you going to spread your happiness and light around the MN forum?
Is there any difference in the delusion you ascribe to fatties than the delusion in which you find your peak-physique self?
Sneak preview. You’re gonna die anyhow.
I’m fat and happy.
How’s can that be?
I’m weighing in here (crap pun not intended) as someone who used to be extremely fit and is currently unfit due to back problems related to flat feet (if you have flat feet, go see a podiatrist, don’t keep running 10k races hoping they problem will disappear).
For me, the high from exercise is beneficial both in lifting my mood temporarily when depressed and also, bizarrely, in bringing me back down when high. Right now I really miss it because due to the bloody back problem the recumbent bike is all I can do. (Hillwalking, weightlifting, martial arts, jogging = interesting, cardio machines in the gym = booooooring). Being unfit isn’t any fun, I want to get back into it as soon as I can. Big BUT, exercise used to be a major hobby of mine, so I have fun while doing it.
I however do not have an eating disorder. If you have an ED, exercise has to be approached with as much caution as chocolate cake or a set of razor blades. It becomes part of the illness and makes it a lot worse.
Also, it’s only one thing among many that I can do to improve my lifestyle that little bit. Along with cutting out stress, eating well (no, not eating lettuce all the time, eating well, it’s a difference), socialising frequently etc etc. This is along with medication.
I agree with Lorna that the way the press says you should just exercise and forget those eeeeevviiilll drugs is yet another bit of prejudiced thinking that says “this isn’t a _real_ illness, so you don’t _really_ need those drugs, you just need to pull your socks up/join a club/improve your attitude”. My attitude to this? I tried yoga in 1989, and it was nice, but didn’t cure my depression. Next!
I’ve come to the conclusion that for a lot of us, life is just quite shit, and expecting to be happy is as unreasonable as expecting Nurses Bunnykins and Poshbint to soap me down…
I am not in peak physique. I have perky little man breasts and a bit of a paunch. When I play footy with a local mental health support group I wangle more than my fair share of time in goal. If I play charity rugby I`m gulping like a carp on the bank after 15 minutes. However, I don`t allow too much deterioration and could bag any UK mountain with some aplomb.
Being overweight does not define who you are but it will dictate what you do.
The amount of time both Mr Ian and Beakie spend at the PC won`t be good for them physically and I`m not sure it`s good for their mental wellbeing. At best it makes you rather one dimensional at worst you start to live your life, rather vicariously, through a computer.
perky little man breasts and a bit of a paunch
that could make you a very popular guy in the wrong place.
I deliberately haven’t bought a lawnmower or hedge trimmer, so I get the exercise from using good old fashioned garden shears.
Then there’s walking the dogs…
When you’re as lazy as me, you really have to build the exercise into your life; rather than joining an expensive health club, you never visit.
Of course, my old school was owned and run (sometimes literally, when we we naughty), by a former Olympic Medalist 1920 & 1924 and staffed by former army officers, so my idea of ‘lazy’ may be out of step with modern usage.
OSB – Thanks for being concerned about my general well being.
Can I mention I’m concerned at the amount of time you’re spending around young boys?
That’s a low blow, Ian. Not good, not good at all.
I`m not sure that active people, who are actually getting off their arses and trying to make a difference, take that kindly to insinuations like that from the sedentary. I know, for certain, that you would never man up and suggest it o my face.
The “boys” you`re so touchingly “concerned” about are aged between 12 3/4 and 18, some 20 – 25% of them are girls. I was roped in rather than actively putting myself forward. Now that I can fully appeciate the good work being done, if anything, I will be increasing the amount of time I spend with them.
I’d be happy to chat about it face to face. I’m not so sure you’d turn up.
But enough machismo nonesense. It’s making beakie perspire and drool at the very thought of it. And I worry for his laundry.
You’re starting to lose your cool more frequently of late and you turn to veiled threats of physical superiority – demonstrating an inability to contain your emotional self. Would you like to see a Counsellor?
My point was – don’t judge everyone by your own yardstick. We don’t all need to be OSBs to be ‘happy’ and not everything about OSBs lifestyle will be to the liking of others.
I’m sure your point about sedentary lifestyles and being overweight and unfit are made out of the greatest concern for our well being but really, you don’t need to patronise me (and perhaps some of my other fatty friends) and then I feel obliged to patronise you and judge you for your lifestyle.
Your point wasn`t about yardsticks and you fuckin` know it. It was a shot, and a sickeningly cheap shot, to nothing. Suggest I`m a paedophile and if I react furiously sit back and invite eveyone to conclude I`m protesting too much. If I`m more measured in response you can retreat a little. Either way the smear sticks. If you did say it to my face it wouldn`t be a veiled threat in response, you piece of shit. It would be your laundry in jeopardy if I could get hold of you this minute.
I went to a presentation the other night by an ex organisation member who is hosting us when we go away in a fortnight. He started by showing us a happy snap of him and his mates in the back garden of a council house, all organisation members. He`d lost touch with a couple of them but outlined what the others had done with their lives. Impressive.
On an extended County level my branch of the organisation holds a prestigious, national, quite well known award for charity fundraising. It`s open to adult organisations too. Impressive.
Yet, despite their outstanding work, youth organisations are desperately struggling to recruit adult volunteers. Why ? It`s largely to do with armchair critics ( particularly nauseating when they`re too fat and idle to get out of the armchair ) making their smartarse insinuations.
Well fuck you. I`m not the primary driving force but I do more than my bit. When I started it would not have been unusual if only seven turned up for a meeting. On Wednesday seven new ones turned up wanting to join. Very shortly, we will, sadly, have to start thinking about whether we will have to put a cap on numbers. You and your fat, disgusting mouth won`t be deterring me. I will be doing more. Pity the kids emulating you and Beakie sat at the PC shovelling shit down their gullets.
Thread closed due to rampant off topic abuse and insults. Please take it here:
http://www.mentalnurse.org/ind.....-arguments