(Guest post by Irrestistible in the Eighties)
Well yes, as the title suggests it’s my day off and I’m chilling out and listening to the Smiths. I’ve always found Morrisey to be one of the most miserable whiney artists ever so it suits my mood (purists say he’s not whiney at all..)
I have just completed 3 years of training. I have a job awaiting. I’m just waiting for crb and pin to come through. Why don’t I feel excited?
I have had a hellish week at work. I’m a nursing assistant..well until the golden pin comes through…and I am bruised, tired, wondering if i want to do this anymore…
I didn’t come into this for the social recognition. I didn’t expect to have patients walking out those doors thanking me profusely because my amazing nursing interventions had changed their lives.
I didn’t realise however, how much it would affect me the constant verbal abuse from patients, the lack of any recognition from management for the shit you endure during a shift day after day.
I didn’t expect to have to deal with pisstaking drug addicts who treat the place like a half way house. I didn’t expect to have to act as some kind of ‘club bouncer’ and confront said people when they have returned to sell drugs on the ward after they have been discharged.
I was getting my portfolio together yesterday should I be one of the ‘chosen’ ones and I found my first student pass. I almost cried because i seem to have aged ten years in the past three.
I love my job sometimes. But right now I’m just sick and tired of being called names almost every day i go into work (thats the only expletive im willing to write on here) and I’m seriously trying to remember why I am doing this. I even feel a bit shit for feeling shit cause the patients must be my first concern and they are obviously feeling more shit than i am..
Maybe I’m not cut out for this. Or maybe after working 7 days a week for the past three years I just need a holiday.
Has anyone else ever felt like this or is it just me ?
Hi there, Irrestible. Your post provoked a few thoughts in me, which I’ll attempt to summarise here:
!. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. Or maybe after working 7 days a week for the past three years I just need a holiday. I think you may have just answered your own question there. Mental health nursing can be a stressful job, and you do need some downtime in order to recharge your batteries. Otherwise you’ll just burn out and be of no use to yourself or your patients. Hopefully this downtime will be easier to achieve once your Band 5 salary starts rolling in, and you’re no longer scrabbling to survive on a mix of student bursary and bank shifts. It may well be that once you’ve qualified you might still need/want to do a bit of bank in order to keep the extra dosh flowing, but try to keep this to a sensible minimum. And yes, book a holiday as soon as is financially viable.
2. I’m guessing from your post that you’re on an acute ward. If it gets to a stage where you feel that you genuinely don’t enjoy working on acute wards, then do not listen to those who insist that you have to past your first year after qualifying on an acute ward. There are plenty of RMNs out there who have built successful careers without going to an acute ward for their first job. If you feel you’d be happier in elderly, or CAMHS, or rehab, or wherever, then just go there.
3. The idea of getting a “golden pin” does sound lovely. Shame when it comes it actually turns out to be a manky bit of cardboard. Those NMC meanies.
Oh goodness this struck a cord. Possibly because I’ve just worked six twelve hour night shifts in a row and I’m bloody knackered.
I’m not nurse, but I do work in mental health and it can be exhausting. Why, only yesterday morning I got called a bastard for asking someone to turn their very loud music down. It was 5:30 in the morning and there were other people sleeping; I didn’t think I was being unreasonable. Thankfully nor did the person in question, not really, and the music was turned off without any further issues (result!)
Sometimes I walk out of work and consider getting a nice job in an office, you know? The kind of job where I won’t have to restrain someone because they’re going at my colleague with a pen (how many times have people been told? NO UNATTENDED PENS) because the dinner she made them was “shit.”
But then I think about it, and I can’t see myself ever doing anything else. I love it really. I love the challenge; I love the people; I love that no two days are ever the same. I even, sometimes, love the paperwork (ok, maybe not…)
I would quite like a band 5 salary though…
Do your time on the ward earn your stripes and then get out into the community it gets a lot easier after that.
I do not actually agree with what E says (or what I think he says) despite the fact acute is an excellent place to gain experience. But in practice many Trusts pretty much insist that mental health nurses first jobs be in acute types wards (or long term care, or slow rehab or whatever they are calling it)
I see no reason why with correct on the job training and support (like there always should be for people starting out) someone can not get a first job in the community or other non acute placements. Many Trusts just seem not to bother themselves.
Acute does get better, normally. If you stick it out for a reasonable period of time and still think it is not for you (as I did) then at least you have some good experience to take onto your next job.
Actually maybe I do agree with almost everything E said.
Like Z says, you don’t have to stay on acute if it’s not your cup of tea. The notion that you need six months acute before you can do anything else is old-fashioned and untrue. As someone who spent their entire clinical career on acute wards, I can tell you, I’d much rather have someone who wanted to be there because they enjoyed the work and found it interesting than have someone there biding their time until they can bugger off to the community. I advise all my students to choose something they’re interested in as a first post as they’re more likely to stick it out than if they try and go along with some outdated notion that you need acute experience. You don’t.
I agree with everything above…
cut the bank shifts once the pin is through,
get some balance back in your life
holiday holiday holiday
but can I just add, the most obvious….. bin the smiths for now!
I agree with everything Quacktitioner says except the bit about binning the Smiths.
The Smiths were, and are, awesome.
I agree with (most) of the other replies. You need a holiday. Also, arrange some clinical supervision, I’ve found it immensely helpful since I started on an acute ward. I chose to work there and struggle at times as well. If you still don’t like it later on, try and move. Acute isn’t for everyone and you don’t HAVE to work there to gain “experience”.
I still think there is valuable experience to be gained by working on a ward for a year or two (be it an acute ward or elderly care or preferably both) experience you wont get anywhere else and which will be invaluable before moving into the community.
I think you’re right, E, but if someone isn’t enjoying it and is feeling uncomfortable there, it’s not doing them any favours or indeed, the ward. Especially if they’re just treading water until they go off to do something “more interesting”.
No idea where some of you people are living. You`re not in Helmand Province and if you think you have a job with ridiculous hours, no holidays and poor remuneration try dairy farming. A lot of newly qualifieds around here would kill for any job. You`ve got one and let`s not forget it is a job which still, ostensibly, has a final salary pension scheme.
Of course not everyone is suited to an acute environment but pulling out the positives there are no better learning environments. There will be first rate staff around, latch onto them. Initially, be a touch subservient, it will integrate you into the team quicker. Keep your own counsel `til you`ve figured out who`s plugging who and who`s related to who. Project yourself onto the ward, if you`re calm, confident, jovial and polite it will have an impact. Bollocks to all that non- judgemental crap, no need to be rude but tell the smackheads what you think of them in the strongest of terms. Don`t go overboard but socialise with your colleagues from time to time. Finally, it will fly by, your chance to move onto something you may prefer will come.
clean advice – thanks.
I have put The Smiths away for now. I always know I’m on a downer when they come out.
I have had a couple of days off and I’m feeling more refreshed. I have a few more coming next week so I will hopefully have my batteries fully recharged by the end of the week.
I have had some clinical supervision too which I find always helps. My supervisor is good and helps me put things into perspective.
Right now, beggars can’t be choosers as far as jobs are concerned….there hasn’t been a great deal going where I live and despite my moans, I am actually looking foward to starting the post I have obtained on the acute ward.
I will see how things go and yeah, If I think it’s not for me, then I will look at other options. The last thing I want is to be in a job I hate and not giving my all. And I will not listen to those that say ‘if you can’t hack it on acute, then you are not meant to be in mental health’…yes, there are some people who have said that to me but sod ‘em.
I think part of me doesn’t want to admit that I am also a little bit scared of being a nurse…part of me can’t wait to start, but another part of me still wants to hide behind my student status
And I will not listen to those that say ‘if you can’t hack it on acute, then you are not meant to be in mental health’
Quite right too. I have no interest in a job in acute – no disrespect to those who work there. It just isn’t the right job for me.
This isn’t because I’m not meant to be in mental health. It’s because I’m meant to be in CAMHS.
“Acute” can refer to CAMHS as well no? I did two years on an acute elderly ward before moving onto an acute adult ward before moving into the community.
“I think part of me doesn’t want to admit that I am also a little bit scared of being a nurse…part of me can’t wait to start, but another part of me still wants to hide behind my student status”
For the first few weeks I went to extraordinary lengths to avoid answering the phone on the ward, because I’d always answered “***** ward, student nurse” and could guarantee whoever was calling would ask to speak to one of the proper staff …… and now that was me!!
“I have no interest in a job in acute ” . We feel the loss !.
Was on a late start today. When I got in the lone Staff Nurse, knowing I was due in, had deployed both NA`s and the Student off ward on positive off ward activity with patients. Everything was composed and organised, no routine jobs were outstanding. She has been qualified for a year and only has 8 months Staff Nurse experience.
I am not surprised you are depressed listening to the Smiths music to slash your wrists to if ever there was try some Rolling Stones, Exile on Main Street or Let it bleed.