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I forgot to announce the winner of the last caption competition, so congratulations to Jan with a runaway score. I also said I’d announce a winner of the spoof nurse brands being suggested in this comments thread. So it’s well done to DeeDee Ramona for winning that one. Time for a new competition now… [...] I’ll probably be too busy with Christmas stuff over the next few days to do much on the blog, so here is a pre-Christmas message from me. For those who don’t know the origins of this particular motto, which seems to be making a comeback on merchandise and whatnot, it was originally a [...] Silly season appears to have started early when it comes to stories involving the NHS. ‘Lying down’ NHS staff reinstated Seven members of staff at Swindon’s Great Western Hospital suspended for playing an internet game that involved them lying down have returned to work. Great Western Hospitals Trust said it had made a decision [...] Right finally got round to it. This post lists some things that student nurses have done. The stories are sourced from my own experiences and those I have heard on the nurse’s grapevine. To put this into context I have been a mentor for most of my nursing life and can count on one hand the number of students that have come near me that frankly are total slapheads and should have just stayed on the dole queue watching Jeremy Kyle. Any example that lists a specific story has had details changed by synaptic neurocryptography. If I know the final outcome of the story I will say who made it through the training and qualified and those who failed. For this post I’m shamelessly stealing Teenage Misanthropy’s mental health-related updating of The Devil’s Dictionary. So here, for your enlightenment, is an A to Z guide to some of the jargon you may come across in the world of mental health nursing. Antipsychotic: A medication that may cause you to become diabetic, grossly inflate in weight, sleep all day and leak milk from your man-breasts. Still, at least you can’t hear the pixies any more, so that’s much better. Antipsychiatry: The belief that severe mental illness can be cured by a combination of far-right libertarianism, postmodern deconstruction and New Age crystal-gazing. A delusion that can usually be cured by getting the individual to actually meet some people with a severe mental illness. Aripiprazole: An antipsychotic that costs £101 for a packet of 28 tablets and has all the clinical efficacy of a tube of smarties. See Big Pharma. Autistic Spectrum Disorder: A pervasive developmental disorder that robs the individual of the ability to understand social communication while simultaneously enabling him/her to understand the deepest functionings of World of Warcraft. Thanks to Mr Ian via the Chat Box for pointing out that the topic list for our forum has generated the following piece of text: # Potential MH nurse here by: TheShrink We at Mental Nurse would like to congratulate The Shrink for taking this brave first step into a whole new world. [...] I saw this ad and thought of you…. Reflective practice seems to be the in-thing in nurse education these days. Reflect, reflect reflect. Like a hall of mirrors. Is it just wibble? Personally, I don’t think it’s wibble per se, just a slightly overcomplicated way of explaining the Cosmic Schmuck Principle. What’s the Cosmic Schmuck Principle? Kindly allow Robert Anton Wilson to [...] Preliminary Draft of the DSM-V Committee on Cyber Disorders The Cyber Disorders section includes disorders that have a dependency upon cyber existence as the predominant feature. The section is divided into three parts. The first part describes e-mail episodes that serve as the building blocks for the disorder diagnoses. The second part describes the Cyber Disorders themselves. The criteria sets for most of the Cyber Disorders require the presence or absence of the e-mail episodes described in the first part of the section. The third part includes the specifiers that describe either the most recent e-mail episode, or the course of recurrent episodes. I saw this recently in a local paper while I was away for the weekend. It underlines much (I think) with what is wrong with today’s no blame culture.
Time Lord Dr Who was yesterday being slammed for endangering patients lives, dumbing down the health service and threatening the very fabric of space time by claiming to be a “Doctor”. Back in the 80s, there used to be a tunnel leading from one bit of King’s Cross to another bit of King’s Cross. I used to go through this tunnel on my way from the tube to a fabulous pub called The Bell, that is sadly no more. The remarkable thing about this tunnel was that it had an exhortation to smile plastered all over it, presumably to cheer up the commuters who, unlike me, were not off to get bladdered and listen to a chucklesome blend of 80s indie music and disco trash. It may still be there for all I know, I haven’t been back for years now. Now, nothing irritates me more than being told to smile. I don’t like being told to smile by friends, and I certainly don’t like being dictated to by tunnels! However, for those of you working as nurses in the NHS, it may serve you well to remember that tunnel. In fact, perhaps you should have the word “smile” tattooed on your inner eyelids, just so you don’t forget. Why? Well, because the Dear Leader, Chairman Johnson has decided nurses should be rated on how smiley and nice they are. Wow, we’ve never really been much bothered by trolls before (the occasional un-Buddha-like Buddhist aside). Today was a very rare occurence on this blog. We at Mental Nurse would like to thank the anonymous “CC” for such witty insights as “Shut your face E you fucking idiot” and “This blog is so shit.” Not [...] In healthcare and government leadership, responsibility and direction has more or less been driven by the need for a healthier nation. For the larger part this means ensuring living for a long time. So it is somewhat shocking and revealing to find this article that provides a new and significant departure from what might be considered traditional medicine. In this article it is clearly stated:
What implications is this astonishing fact going to have on healthcare for now and the future? Maybe you care, maybe you don’t! I have not disappeared / died / been sectioned, I am simply encountering technical difficulties. My computer won’t work. Fear not, for I shall return! |
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